Many people think ADHD is all about an inability to focus, but the reality is a bit more complex. Kids with ADHD don't have an "attention deficit"; they have “too much” attention. Their brains are always buzzing with different thoughts, ideas, and distractions, making it hard to zero in on just one thing—like homework.
What’s Distracting My Child?
Distractions come from all directions—inside, outside, and even from their bodies. The challenge is that kids aren’t always aware of what’s pulling their focus away. This is where your curiosity as a parent can make a huge difference. Take a moment to observe what distracts your child. Is it the sound of the TV? A messy workspace? An empty belly? Once you’ve identified some distractions, have a "check-in" conversation with your child and introduce them to the four types of distractions.
Internal distractions come from within—thoughts, daydreams, or worries that pop up in your child’s mind. Clues that your child may be experiencing internal distractions include zoning out, staring off into space, and losing track of time.
External distractions are anything happening around them—a noisy sibling, a cluttered desk, or the TV in the background. Signs of external distractions might include your child frequently looking around, losing track of their task, or expressing frustration with noises or movement in their environment.
Physical distractions can include the body's need to eat, move, or fidget. Sitting still can sometimes be a distraction in itself! You might notice physical distractions if you see your child tapping their foot, shifting in their seat, or needing frequent breaks to stretch or walk around.
Emotional distractions come from feelings like frustration or excitement. If your child is upset about a friend or overly excited about an upcoming event, their ability to focus suffers. Indicators of emotional distractions include your child expressing frustration, anxiety, or excessive energy or having difficulty calming down when it’s time to focus.
Practical Tips for Managing Distractions
Once you’ve started uncovering what’s distracting your child, the next step is discovering together what works best to manage those distractions. Every child is different, so this is a process of trial and error. Be curious—what helps them focus? What makes it harder?
For internal distractions, encourage your child to jot down thoughts that pop up. This way, they can return to those ideas later without losing their focus.
For external distractions, ask your child what would make their space feel more productive. Maybe it’s organizing their desk, or perhaps some background music would help them feel more focused.
For physical distractions, see if movement breaks help. Sometimes, getting the wiggles out during homework time can refresh their brain and improve focus.
For emotional distractions, checking in with your child’s feelings can help. Are they anxious, frustrated, or simply tired? A quick conversation or a calming activity can bring their focus back.
Involving Your Child in Creating Their Distraction-Free Zone
When designing a distraction-free study space, it's crucial to involve your child or teen in the process. What feels distraction-free to you might not work for them. Some kids need total silence, while others focus better with music or background noise. This is where getting "buy-in" from your child becomes essential.
If you ask them what type of environment helps them concentrate, they may not know the answer. But if you ask them what makes them feel good or ready to do their work, they might share some ideas. Together, you can discover whether they need a bright, organized space or a cozy corner with some background music. By working together to create the right environment, you’re empowering your child to take ownership of their focus and productivity.
Before You Say, "Time for Homework"
Before diving into homework, take a moment to check in with your child. I used these four questions to make sure they were “ready” to start.
Where: Is their workspace the right environment? Does it include all the things that help them focus best?
What: Do they have all their materials? Do they understand what they need to do? Sometimes, just getting organized is half the battle.
When: Have they had a break, a snack, or some movement? A few minutes to recharge can make all the difference.
How: Do they know the first step? Help them break the assignment into manageable pieces so it feels less overwhelming.
By asking these questions and keeping the conversation open, you’re partnering with your child to uncover what they need to get focused and stay on track.
"Can’t vs. Won’t": Sometimes We All Need a Break
It’s easy to think your child won’t focus, but often it’s a matter of can’t—their brain just isn’t ready. When that happens, stepping back, taking a break, and returning to the task later is okay. Encourage them to recharge (movement, music, mindfulness, or food) and then return to their homework with fresh energy. If they still cannot do the work, it’s time to “call it a night.” Give their brain a break and think about whether it would be better to tackle the homework in the morning or reach out to the teacher to let her know what's going on.
Working Together to Uncover Strategies That Work
Helping your child manage their attention isn’t about forcing them to concentrate. It’s about working together to understand what’s pulling them away and finding strategies that help. Whether creating the right environment, checking for distractions, or giving them tools to manage their focus, you’re discovering what works best for them. Helping them figure out what works makes for a smoother, easier homework routine.
By fostering open communication and encouraging your child’s involvement in this process, you're enhancing their ability to focus and strengthening your relationship.
Remember, every small step taken together is a victory in building their confidence and independence. As you navigate the journey of managing distractions, celebrate the progress, no matter how small. Together, you can create a supportive atmosphere where your child feels empowered to tackle homework with greater ease and success.
Warmly,
Coco & Vicky
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